Isn’t it weird?  Here is the situation:

You have a friend who has some bad habit that you really cannot stand.  You wanted to tell her but you are afraid that she will get angry.  So, you tell your other friend to voice out your feeling.  After that day, you start forgetting about you said about your friend and the other friend saw you going out with her again. In the end, she says that you are a hypocrite.

Why is it so? I really don’t get it.  You do not want to hurt your friend so you decided not to tell her.  That is why you find a person to listen to your complaints, right? If everyone stops being friend with each person who hurt him/her by purpose or accident then everyone can be my enemy, include my family.

Come on!  Everyone is the same.  If I am hypocrite then so do you.  Stop saying others are hypocrites when you are one yourself.  

Safe and sound~

This is the song that I have been listening for almost 2 weeks. It's meant for the victims during civil wars but I feel so relaxing when I listen to this song. The original song is sang by Taylor Swift. Well, I prefer this version though. I want to dedicate this song to him, who is far away from me. I wish him to be safe and sound when I am not around. 

This is what I wanna tell him at night, "Just close your eyes and everything will be fine. We will meet soon, meanwhile, please take care of yourself. I love you."  

Fighting~

Two weeks ago, I was busy with colorguard performances and music festival. Together with my friends, we put our effort on costume making and designing. We sewed the clothes ourselves and bought some props for the performance.

We also spent lots of time to practise our steps when we had mid terms and assignments at the same time. During the process, we felt so stressed and lacked of sleep. When we finished with sewing, three of us felt so satisfied and motivated.

We even created our own group called Colorguard: Calyn Tenny Vikki (C:CTV)! Actually, we did not expect that we could perform very well because it’s our first time editing songs and choreographing without any help from others. Though our group may be disbanded when we graduate in 2014, I feel so satisfied and proud of my group that at least we have made some achievements in our lives.

I hope that this group will have more opportunities to perform in the future. C:CTV, fighting! ^o^

Few months ago, I've searched meaningful quotations and philosophies and I stuck them onto my wall. These quotations inspire me to be strong. I hope it will be helpful for you too.

"I am what my mother made me,

So be proud of myself"

"Follow the path that I believe in"

"Shine! Live is short"

"Be strong now because things will get better,

It may be stormy now, but it can't rain forever"

"Never take help of Tears to show Emotion and

Never take help of Words to show Anger"

"I believe in the Sun even when it's not showing,

I believe in Love even when I am alone,

I believe in God even when He's silent"

"If I am not willing to learn, no one can help me,

If I am determined to learn, no one can stop me"

"Do not pray for an easy life,

Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”

Well, I am not a good advisor. Nevertheless, I feel that it’s all depends on oneself to control emotion when unpleasant things happen. Sometimes it’s okay to be straightforward among friends as long as we talk nicely to each other.

I had lost my very best friend for six years due to a small matter. So, I understand that feeling when someone loses his/her best friend, especially the first few weeks.

It’s not because others think that you are the bad guy but it’s because our friendship “sinks” so easily. That feeling may be worse than losing boyfriend or girlfriend.

I have many things to say but do not know where to start.

In this semester, I have learnt that friends are supposed to be straightforward to each other especially when they have problems among themselves. Well, maybe it is because I have met a new circle of friends who will tell out everything they feel about each other. And, that makes me understand them deeper.

I realize that time is not everything when it comes to friends; instead, being honest to each other is the best policy. Some may be friends for more than 10 years and some may be less than 2 years, but sometimes we can see that those who are friends for less than 2 years appreciate each other more.

I know that everyone loves gossiping. I do gossip about others too, but gossip does not change one's bad habit. Instead, it shows the ugliness of a person who gossip a lot. It makes me feel bad that I am not helping my friends to improve themselves just by gossiping about them.

I used to neglect what my friends say behind my back because I think that everyone has his/her right to say anything. Nevertheless, a few days ago, I overheard my friends gossiping about me. When I hear it, I felt so hurt because they are not honest to me. I kept quiet for the rest of the day because I know if I start to tell them how I feel, I will start crying. They are whom I cherished all this while.

Is it wrong for me to concentrate on my assignments?

Is it wrong for me to have my private time with others?

Is it wrong for me to have other true friends?

I don’t mind about my appearance, I don’t mind about my body shape but as a friend, I think it’s so rude to criticise other’s body shape many times just to make one feel better about herself. I feel so angry and disappointed although it seems nothing wrong.

Someone asked me, I might treat them as my friends but how about them? Do they treat me as their friend too? I don’t know but I believe that if I treat them well, they will appreciate me. May not be now, but I know one day they will understand my feeling. 

Just like how I know my Lord loves me. He might close the door, but He has prepared windows for me. I know that this unhappy moment will pass. Worst to worst, I will continue to find my true friends. In fact, I have my true friends at home whom will never leave me no matter what happen. I know they are waiting for me to go back.

I love them <3